Everything is #@%!ed by Mark Manson - Ch 3 part 1

Posted by David Schaefer on

Getting into chapter 3, I found that some of my own struggles with self-worth or self-confidence were being explained.  Mark is using the story of Isaac Newton to help us relate to “values” the second necessity to maintain hope.

This chapter gets rather deep in the explanation of “moral gaps” and how our values are shaped.  Mr. Manson, in telling the story of Newton, states that “victims of abuse are often the keenest observers of human nature. … But for the abused, it’s a survival skill.  For them, violence might erupt at any moment, therefor, they develop a keen Spidey sense to protect themselves.  …anything can set off their internal alarm.” (49)  After reading this, I couldn’t help but think of the violent drunk father I had.  I remember being on edge, not knowing what I would have to deal with at any one time.  From him coming hope drunk and wanting to hurt us to waking up with him peeing in the corner of my room, thinking he was in the bathroom.  Things could be tense, not wanting to set him off on who knows what kind of rampage.

Some of the highlights we have are “pain causes moral gaps,” and that these “moral gaps are where our values are born.”  (51 – 51) I knew when my son, Noah, was born I didn’t want him to live in the crazy world I grew up in.  I decided to take him on a father and son camping trip each summer.  These camping trips have been bonding times for us.   We have been able to talk about things that we might have never brought up in any other setting.  I let him know that this was a time for him to ask anything.  I was able to share some of my experiences and let him know that a big part of the camping trip was for him to have a better father than I did.  We did some fishing, hiking and got rained and snowed on.  These are some best memories for me in my life.  This was a huge value for me in having a son.

This chapter explains Newton’s three laws of emotion – every action has an equal and opposite emotional reaction; our self-worth equals the sum of our emotions over time and your identity will stay your identity until a new experience acts against it. 

Noah likes when Mark addresses the ideal that “people who believe they deserve special treatment because they are so great, are the same as people who think they deserve special treatment because they are so shitty.” (60)  This is because both people will have narcissistic tendencies.  Basically, everyone will be narcissistic in some way or another – think about and be honest with yourself.

There is so much in just this one chapter, that we have decided to talk about it more in next week’s continued review.  We will finish this chapter and go through chapter four as well.  If you are reading this book, chime in, we want to know your thoughts.

Be A Better You and Look Good Too!


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